


Cupid's Got Nothing On Him

by Dreamin



Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 13:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14497803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamin/pseuds/Dreamin
Summary: Bert decides Jack and Phryne need a little help.





	Cupid's Got Nothing On Him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afteriwake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/gifts).



> My first MFMM fic.
> 
>  _Don Q, Son of Zorro_ , the sequel to _The Mark of Zorro_ , came out in 1925, so a couple of years ahead of MFMM, but close enough if you ask me. :)

Bert was on his knees in the hallway, tightening the screws on the new linen cupboard doorknob and humming whatever bawdy songs came to mind. He smiled to himself when he heard heeled shoes coming towards him.

“Afternoon, Bert,” Phryne said cheerfully, stopping beside him. “Where’s Mr. Butler? He normally does this sort of thing.”

“Busy with the lunch dishes,” he said as he got to his feet. “I’m pretty handy with a screwdriver, said I’d help out.”

“That’s good of you. Got any plans for today?”

“Thought I’d treat everyone to the pictures, that new Zorro one’s still playing.”

Phryne grinned. “I always knew there was a heart of gold under that grumpy exterior. I’d go but I’m still exhausted from last night’s soiree.”

“You should take a nap, you’ll be right as rain.”

“An excellent notion, I’ll take one as soon as I’ve written a letter to my mother.” She rolled her eyes at her filial duty then patted his shoulder as she continued down the hall.

Bert wondered how long it would take for her to notice there were no sheets on the bed.

* * *

He was carrying the toolbox back downstairs when he met Jack in the foyer. “Inspector. If you’re looking for Miss Fisher, she’s upstairs.”

“Thanks, Bert.” Jack hung up his hat and coat then headed upstairs. It wasn’t until he’d reached the top of the stairs that he heard muffled shouting.

“Let me out!” came Phryne’s voice from the linen cupboard.

“Miss Fisher?” Jack asked, confused. He opened the door and saw Phryne, whose eyes lit up when she saw him then they narrowed when she saw something over his shoulder.

“Bert? What-”

Jack felt strong hands shove him into the cupboard and he grabbed Phryne’s shoulders to keep from falling on top of her, then the door slammed closed, leaving them in a very tight space in the dark. Jack turned around slowly since there was barely any elbow room, then groped around for the knob.

“There’s no knob?” he asked, dumbfounded.

“That’s right, Inspector,” Bert said from the hallway, the grin evident in his voice.

“Johnson, I’ll have you arrested,” Jack said firmly.

“Over a harmless prank? Just think of the paperwork.”

“Let us out, Bert,” Phryne said sternly, but it sounded to Jack like her heart wasn’t truly in it.

“I will,” Bert said, “after we get back from the pictures. Thought it was time you two stopped beating around the bush. Have fun!”

They could hear him chuckling as he walked away.

After a moment, Jack felt her tapping his shoulder. He slowly turned to her then found himself with an armful of the Honorable Miss Phryne Fisher, who then proceeded to kiss the breath out of him.

_Maybe I won’t lock up Bert after all._

* * *

Outside, Dot, Jane, and Mr. Butler were climbing into the back of the taxi as Bert and Cec got in the front. Hugh and Alice were going to meet them at the cinema.

“What are we seeing again?” Mr. Butler asked.

“ _Don Q, Son of Zorro_ ,” Dot said happily. “Douglas Fairbanks is such a good actor.”

“Masked vigilantes,” Mr. Butler scoffed. “That’ll never catch on.”

* * *

The last coherent thought Phryne had as Jack nuzzled her neck, one large hand on her breast, was simply, _Good God, Bert deserves a raise…_


End file.
